The Walk
May 15, 2012 18 Comments
as my heel drops
the moment opens
as toes follow
it begins to close
I walk in the
simple awareness
that this is how
the journey goes
straight forward toward
those moving clouds
that make breadcrumbs
I trace with my eyes
the walk continues
and truth of life
blazes free the trail
of the cluttered divides
tapping of the steps
becomes the song
whispered by nightingales
that cannot quite decide
which gift would be
best to provide
what stings less
the warning or surprise
Contributed to open link night with dVerse poets pub
About C Rose
Very much love the opening verses of this one! Hope the nightingales will choose well.
what stings less the warning or surprise…ha, great end to this rose…that first stanza is really tight…and sometimes the trick is to just keep walking and hope its the right direction…smiles.
Something of a haunting ending note, I have to say, for a piece so otherwise at peace. The warning or surprise…hm. Nevertheless, sometimes all we can do is proceed onward…
which gift would be
best to provide
what stings less
the warning or surprise
this feels self confident and assured –
positive…
the poet is over taking strife
by riding
the lane of self…
hope thats not too cheese and/or missing the mark…
its what i saw with my squinting eye ;-D
leaves me with a positive buzzzz!
when you said tapping, i immediately thought that the narrator here should maybe take tap lessons cuz he/she likes to use his/her feeeet sooo much
imagine tapping to the song of the nightingale
radiation rampage
straight forward toward
those moving clouds
that make breadcrumbs
I trace with my eyes – wonderful writing.
Rose, I love this !
Lovely! as you capture the journey we all travel ~. driven by our choices
The walk and the divides. Very nice, thank you!
lovely, the song of footsteps song by Nightingale.
http://leahjlynn.wordpress.com/
Love it !
http://mrwatson215.wordpress.com/2012/05/07/504/
Wow, you were rhyming right on time. Excellente sound and voice. I luv walking, when I’m not biking. Sometimes I enjoy a slower, more intimate stroll. Enjoyed your words and lines very much. Is C. Rose going to be the by-line on your book?
What an original you are Rose! This is so hauntingly lovely…that last stanza resonates strongly, yet almost a little chillingly…imagine the tiny nightingale give us the gift of warning or surprise I do like this poem much! Thank you:)
Every word is amazing..
enjoyed these lines…
“which gift would be
best to provide
what stings less
the warning or surprise”
“what stings less
the warning or surprise”
Perfect. Utterly perfect.
http://halfwaybetweenthegutter.wordpress.com/2012/05/16/my-oldest-enemy/
love esp. the part with the moving clouds
that make breadcrumbs… gorgeous image…and the..tapping of the steps
becoming the song… the walk of life as a song that can be heard if we listen closely..i like
I walk in the
simple awareness
.. this for me sums up your journey… I wish I was that far along, my friend xx
Walking is one of my favorite subjects to write on, and it was a pleasure to read this poem of yours. You have done very well with it. I like the end, which, by the way, was a surprise to me (perhaps I would have had to try out the sting of the warning, had I read it more closely or been more perceptive)
.
You really get across the feel of the process of walking, which is both about every little step, and about taking in the bigger picture. Good work!
My rally entry is at:
http://elainedanforth.wordpress.com/2012/05/15/the-one-called-mother/